WHAT SHOULD CHILDREN SING?
When he was working out how to write stories for children, C.S. Lewis was guided by what he liked himself. Songs are the same. Sing what you like, what you enjoy singing, the songs that are good for your spiritual well-being. At the heart of encouraging your kids to sing is having a heart for singing the songs yourself.
In an essay on writing for children, Lewis suggested that children don’t learn like a train going from station to station but rather as a tree grows by adding rings. Kids add and build on what they already know, and so do adults; so we must take care to try and make those first key rings of growth healthy and strong, providing a solid foundation a child can build on. We consider the balance of the content they sing and what vision of God those songs are growing in their minds.
As parents of young children, we are learning not to patronize them or underestimate what they learn and retain through what they sing. With our kids we have always sung simple songs like “Jesus Loves Me,” but also longer, fuller hymns on the same subject like “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us.” Don’t be afraid of the older hymns containing “Thees” and “Thous,” but explain them as you need to.
We can give children a little more than they understand in the songs we sing with them, and over time help them grow into an understanding of every part of a lyric, just like buying new shoes for your kid a size bigger than they need right now, so that they grow into them and get longer wear out of them. Equally, don’t underestimate the value of songs that tell great Bible stories or help with memorizing Bible verses (but be discerning—just because the tune is catchy and your kids enjoy singing a song, does not mean it has helpful lyrics).
BUT MY KIDS ARE TEENAGERS…
Perhaps you are reading this and thinking, My kids are older, and this is not what our home has been like. How do I start singing with teens?
Since we are not there yet, we asked a parent who had a home where both teenagers and singing were present at the same time! You might be familiar with Bobbie Wolgemuth. She and Joni Eareckson Tada wrote a series of books called Hymns for a Kid’s Heart telling the stories behind the hymns and teaching the hymns themselves. Bobbie did not grow up in a Christian family, and when she had her own kids, she and her husband, Robert, made a conscious decision that they would fill their home with hymns of faith. The kids sang as teenagers, as part of the fabric of life, like while helping their mom make dinner. Bobbie passed away from cancer several years ago, and these hymns she learned as a new believer and then as a mother sustained her through her illness. When we asked Robert about singing with teenagers, he made a few suggestions:
- Tell and show your kids why this is important. Be part of a church family that enables you to clearly show congregational singing done well, especially with opportunities where you can sing with your kids in church and not always send them away to another service just for them.
- Make it as fun and attractive to them as possible. Find contemporary versions of good songs that appeal to a teenager’s ear.
- Get started. Start playing songs in your home. Let them see you singing.
- Don’t be scared of your kids. You have the right—and responsibility—to parent them.
We have noticed many times that when parents, and particularly fathers, do not sing, it often leads to older kids inheriting similar tepid responses that sadly often go far beyond just the singing. Be a parent who sings with joy, and pray that your kids, of whatever age, would follow you—not just in the singing, but in the faith that brings joy.
THE SOUND OF HOME IN CHURCH
These “at home” experiences are foundational spaces for the singing we do on Sunday. It links our personal homes with our church home, training kids to sing and sing well as part of the congregation. It links our homes to our kids’ future homes, training this generation how to one day sing with their children. It helps prepare our kids and us for our eternal home when all the families of the world will join in praise of the Savior.
Singing is transformative. In a culture where the bonds of family are often brittle, singing together can put strength in our arms as we hold on to each other. It can help restore how God intends family to be, linking us in where there is pressure to pull away. It can train us to be comfortable and confident in speaking of our faith and not unfamiliar and shy. And, if you are disheartened by the trends of music in the wider church at the moment, remember: some of the people who will write the songs, choose the songs, and lead the singing in churches tomorrow are in our care and training today. If we can inspire joyful, thoughtful, heartfelt Christian singing in our homes today, we can transform the Church in a single generation. What an opportunity!
Friends, let’s take singing within our families seriously, as an investment in our kids’ spiritual health:
People and realms from every tongue
Dwell on His love with sweetest song
And infant voices shall proclaim
Their early blessings of His name.
(Isaac Watts, “Jesus Shall Reign,” 1719)
Content from the Sing! book by Keith and Kristyn Getty